Why do I feel that it’s up to me to prove that I care, when clearly the person I’m trying to show that I care obviously could care less?

I’m not the type to just give up on a person but I see that it’s easy for most people to give up on me.

You can’t appeal to everyone, I understand this, but I’m only trying to appeal to those in my immediate life. Friends stiff arm me, family does the same but that comes and goes, and mainly anyone woman I have an interest in, is only temporarily interested in me.

Sometimes I wonder if I chose to be an asshole, chose to go with my second mind, come off stand-offish and a loner who only wants to be touched if it’s sexually, I wonder if my life would be easier because it seems as if life gets easier the more you care less. As if not being genuine is truly the way to be because as much as I try to be genuine with anyone I choose to be around, it’s seems useless because I ultimately always become a mat to be stepped on.